I Love Me and My Promise Ring
by Emery W.
“I know what I want, and I want to wear a damn ring from my boyfriend without being engaged.”
I like the ‘Total Sorority Move’ page on Facebook even though I have never been, nor had the willingness to be in a Panhellenic sorority (I was, however, an active member of Kappa Kappa Psi, National Honorary Band Fraternity for four years so I have some insight on Greek Life). With that being said, I read some of the articles they post, and while I find most of them equal parts condescending and petty, I also think they’re good for a laugh here and there.
Recently, one in particular titled, “I Hate You and Your Promise Ring,” hit me on a personal level because I do, and have been, wearing a promise ring for a year. Whether the author of the article meant this in a facetious way or not, let me break it down to all of you lovelies as to why I love my promise ring.
"I’m 25, Not 12"
I agree that 12-year-olds who promise each other “forever” are sick in the head. You just hit puberty, kid calm the eff down. But I’m 25 years old. I have a full-time job, health insurance, pay my own bills, and can legally get drunk as long as I have a sober ride home. I know what I want, and I want to wear a damn ring from my boyfriend without being engaged.
"My Promise Ring Isn’t a ‘Pre-engagement’ Ring."
If I wanted a pre-engagement ring, then I’d call it a pre-engagement ring. My boyfriend and I made the conscious decision to buy each other promise rings for our first anniversary. They weren’t surprise acts of commitment. By that time, we were already committed to each other, but weren’t (and still aren’t) financially ready to have a wedding. We don’t want to be that couple who gets engaged just because we’re in love, but then stay that way for a million years. However, current society also has this incredibly ridiculous stigma that, “There’s no ring on your finger so I’ve still got a chance,” and, “No doesn’t actually mean no.”
"You’re Probably Just Jealous"
This is a total assumption, but I’m assuming the people hating on my ring are ones who don’t have one. Not necessarily because you’re single, but maybe because your SO hasn’t bought you one yet. Are you seriously telling me that if the person you love gives you a beautiful ring as a gift (sans getting down on one knee, and popping the question), and tells you, “I love you, and I promise you I always will,” that you’ll turn that shit down because they didn’t ask you to marry them? That makes you a dill hole. Would you accept it if it were anything else besides a ring?
Maybe this rebuttal is me being petty in response to the TSM author’s original pettiness, but let’s always remember; don’t be a hater. People are going to give what they give, and wear what they want to wear.